Great (slow) Hunger Fast

The Electricity Tariff was going up by another 20%. Madness. Someone needed to send a strong signal to the Government. It was all up to me. Hunger Fast time!
I put on a white kurta and pyjama, wore a white tennis cap (that’s the only cap I have) and took up my position. However, before doing that, I quickly nipped into the kitchen and ate two peanut butter sandwiches.No point sitting on a hunger fast already hungry!
I sat down on my hunger fast sofa and put on the television. There was a programme where some chefs were cooking up delicious recipes in a competition. That wouldn’t do. I changed the channel. Now there was a travel special on Brazil - what lovely sausages! Changed it again. There was an ad for delicious chocolate biscuits. I switched off the television and sat quietly trying to concentrate. From downstairs, I could hear the kulfiwallah shouting. I got myself some cotton wool for my ears and sat down again. There were visions of mutton biryani swimming before my eyes. I changed my mind’s channel. No luck, got the desserts channel. Lovely labong latikas. Damn!
My wife was passing through the room. “Any call from the Governor’s office yet?” I asked. She shook her head. Then suddenly the phone rang. My heart leapt. She said “Wrong number” and put it down.
I sat for another long while.Then I spied my son. “I’m feeling weak and giddy,” I told him. “I think my oxygen levels are going down. Maybe I need an intravenous drip.”
“We don’t have any of those in the house,” he said. “Why don’t you have a beer instead? It looks the same.”
“Is that allowed?” I asked cautiously.
“Of course,” he replied. “It’s a hunger fast, not a thirst fast!”
So I had a glass of beer. Big mistake. Now the tandoori chickens and chicken liver pates in my head were multiplying.
I sat for another long while.
Finally I had had enough. I asked my daughter to bring me a peanut butter sandwich. When it came, I stared at the clock. I had lasted 57 minutes.
“Can you imagine, I didn’t last even an hour,” I told her.
“Oh dad,” she replied. “You shouldn’t go by this clock, it’s very slow, never tells the right time. Goodness knows how long you actually sat.” She gave me a kiss and went off.
Ah! So that was the problem. I hadn’t been on a hunger fast. It had been a hunger slow!
Maybe next time.
(shivjeetk@gmail.com)